… A Saudi house this weekend! It was the first time I had been invited into a Saudi's home and it was amazing. Everything in this culture seems to be done on such an elaborate scale and their meals and homes are certainly no exception.
So I should start by saying, this was not the first time my husband had been invited to the home. One of the employees in Chuck's office had invited him to his house during Ramadan one evening for the breaking of the fast. However, I was in the United States at the time, so I wasn't able to attend. I had lived the experience through my husband's account and pictures, but I have been very anxious to experience it as well. I mean, it's a great cultural experience for both Abby and myself and heck, the food is outrageous and soooo yummy!
So last week the family invited our family to their Friday meal. Friday here is the Muslim Holy Day, so this is when most families gather to enjoy a meal together after the noon prayer time. When they return from Mosque, they eat until the next prayer time around 3:30pm. Think of a family dinner on Sunday's after Church in the United States.
I should note that although the son is an employee at my husband's company, he shares his father's house (which is very common here). His father is a long-time manager for the Department of Labor in the Kingdom, so they house is of course huge and amazing (think mansion). The father and mother are upstairs, with their daughter who is unmarried, and the son and his family are downstairs. I should also note, that each floor of the house that the families reside in is 2x the size of our house either here or in the states so around 2800sq ft.
We follow the son to the home promptly at 1pm. We drove up and the house takes 1/2 a block. Yes, 1/2 a block. We enter through the main gate and the entire yard is done in tile (which is also very common here). We walk up the marble (yes marble outside) staircase with a very ornate banister in wrought iron 2 flights of stairs to the middle floor. Chuck is shown to the men's entrance and Abby and I are escorted to the women's entrance. The two entrances are separated by an outside patio - all marble tile - that is larger than our yard here in Saudi.
Women and men who are not immediate family are separated in a gathering since men who are not direct relative, father or brother, cannot see the women uncovered. This goes for daughter-in-laws as well. A father cannot see his son's wife uncovered without his son's permission, also for a sister-in-law. Without permission the men do not even see the women's faces.
So Abby and I were in the women's section of the home. There was an beautifully decorated entrance way with rugs and a huge gold chandelier (all marble as well) except that here the marble tile was in a gorgeous floral pattern. The introductions - I speak very little Arabic and they spoke even less English. We figured it out though though a lot of repeating and hand gestures. Saudi's always greet with kisses on the cheek, this is for both men and women (though the opposite sexes do not do this to each other). So I've been doing it wrong all this time. Westerners here shake and kiss 3 times on opposite cheeks. The proper way that I have learned is shake and 1 kiss on the left cheek and 3+ kisses on the right cheek. The more kisses on the right cheek, the closer the relationship, friend or family, the more you value a person based on kisses. I had 3 each upon entering since this was my first time meeting the family.
We then entered into the first sitting room with a custom made couch. Carved mahogany with gold trim. The couch went the entire 3 walls of the room - think extra large wrap around couch. Again, all marble flooring with an amazing oriental plush rug and gold gold gold. Off the sitting room was the kitchen where the mother and sister were busy preparing the meal. Unlike most Saudi families, this family does not have maids, the mother and sister do all the housework. This is actually unusual, but I think it shows that they are more modern of a Saudi family. The father has travelled abroad quite a bit due to his work and the family travels with him, so they were very accustomed to western culture. I should also note, the father and brothers - ok all the men there spoke fantastic English, so again, Chuck had it easy while the women spoke very broken or NO English. A lot of charades were played during the meal!
We were offered dates and kahawa (Arabic Coffee) right away. There were 2 different kind of dates, one with cinnamon and sugar and one with sesame seeds. Abby loved kahawa and it's served in a very small cup (smaller than espresso) so she took a glass as well. There is a specific way to serve these, and before we leave I am going to learn. It's very skillful and takes some practice as you hold the cups in your right hand and pour with your left, but there are several cups stacked and you never set anything down - you hand it all directly to the person. It's hard to explain, but trust me - it takes some skill!
So over the next hour more ladies arrived. The sister of the male host, and his sister in law, along with the wife of our hosts brother. More greetings and kissing - and finally the host's sister spoke some English! We did a lot of translating!
All in all there were around 10 kids for Abby to play with ranging in age from 2-7, so she had lots to do and was having so much fun. She was able to go between the men and women's sections as well as kids are an exception to the rule. Plus - she's blonde hair and blue eyes so everyone here just seems to love her and she can get away with nearly anything when she flashes a smile!
First the women serve the men. The men go into a sitting room similar to the ladies room and the door to the "dining" room is shut. The women bring a spread - I mean more food than you can imagine in. The men sit on the floor in the dining room. The room is carpeted and have what is called Saudi couches around the outside. (cushions against the wall with armrests set in between). The men come in only after the women have laid out the food. Traditionally they eat without plates (some eat with their hands, but this family being more western ate with utensils). They eat right off the serving dishes (yes, I know for us westerners who are germ conscious double dipping isn't even close to a faux pas here, it's the norm). You take your spoon or fork and dig in with everyone. So the men eat first - remember this is Saudi - women and children last.
So after the men finish - they go back to the sitting room for tea and coffee while the women go into the "dining room" and clean up. After everything is cleaned up - then it's our turn. Here's where I found some entertainment. The women serve the men on the floor - right? Guess where the children eat? On the floor as well in a similar room to the men. The women - hehe - we sat at a beautiful dining table and ate together there. Same concept, everyone has a spoon and fork and eats from the serving dishes, but we get chairs. I just thought that was really interesting.
The food - oh my the food! We had 4 different kinds of fish in various dishes. One with a cinnamon sauce that we dipped the fresh bread in. Another with a cinnamon and ginger rice (the platter for this was at least 2 ft around). Then another with a curry kind of dressing. Fresh tahini, salad with cucumbers and tomatoes with lemon juice, potatoes and tomatoes cooked together with some sort of sauce, curry vegetables and for desert a banana desert with coconut that was similar to a baklava. I may, if I'm lucky, be able to eat again at Thanksgiving. This meal lasted 2 hours. From start to finish - it was 5 hours between the greetings, introductions, men eating, women eating, tea and coffee.
After everything was cleaned up, the hostess made a green tea with sugar and some added flavors and we relaxed in the women's sitting room on the floor. The kids went back outside onto the patio to play.
I should note, the paint in the house wasn't just gold - it was gold leaf. Yes, and textured and well, ok nothing I could ever even begin to attempt or afford in the States. Ok - that was most of the furniture as it was almost all custom made and designed to fit what the owners wanted. Yeah - when was the last time we went and had a living room set custom built? College doesn't count when we put together pallets and an old mattress!
Now, how did my hubby and I communicate when it was time to leave since we were separated? Text. Yep all the women would receive a phone call or text from their husbands when it was time to go.
I have to add this part. The host, the father, was allowed to walk freely and me being western, he came to the women's side a couple times unannounced. Women scattered except his wife, me and his sister and daughter. The daughter and sister-in-laws hid - one literally under a table - so that they would not be seen. That is how serious this is. I admire their culture and their dedication to their religion and beliefs. I think we could all learn something from their way of life. I also have to add that he felt comfortable enough (having worked with my husband and had him in his house before) to walk through the house in his house clothes out of his throbe (think comfy clothes we relax in at home). I was really honored and impressed by this and it truly made me feel very welcome at the home.
All in all the house was amazing, the food fabulous, but the best part of the day was making some new friends. When we left I received 6 kisses from the women. The host shook hands with me and invited me back anytime. They opened their door with an invitation for us to join them anytime on their family day. This was so welcoming and amazing to me. The thing is, it's not just a kind gesture, here, I've learned they really mean it and expect you to take them up on it. They are so sincere and kind that it's hard to explain unless you experience it.
Even with all the differences, the whole afternoon reminded me of our Thanksgiving and Christmas- the women cooking the men talking, the children playing. It was so welcoming and somewhat comforting. I thoroughly enjoyed the day and can't even begin to express how wonderful and thankful I am to this family for their sincere hospitality! This is certainly going to be one of my favorite parts of this adventure and one that I will look back on and smile about for years to come!